A Family Rowing Through the Raging Storm of COVID-19 # 3: It Is Too Much Burden to Tell My Wife and Two Children

 

Starting in the third series of this paper, the author’s wife and two children, 14 years and 8 years old, are involved, both involved in thoughts, feelings, and psychological burdens in our family struggle to face the reality that the author is confirmed positive for COVID-19.

And a few weeks later, the three people who I most loved and loved were also confirmed positive for COVID-19 after the author was declared cured.

That is the reason the author has added the word “Sekel Keluarga” in front of the title above from this series onwards.

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As of November 2017, the author lives in Jakarta. Since the author was appointed as Commissioner of the Central Information Commission for the 2017-2021 period. Meanwhile, his wife and two children remain in Wonogiri, Central Java.

The decision regarding wives and children not to come to Jakarta was taken after we considered that the wife was the be status of Civil Servants (PNS) in the Wonogiri Regency Government and our choice that the children would be raised in one Indonesian culture, not a metropolitan culture.

And also after considering the optimization of our daily time with the children, it would be more optimal if our wife and children remained in Wonogiri.

The COVID-19 pandemic that has hit Indonesia of course has influenced our communication patterns, worry models, and conversation materials from time to time, including the author’s homecoming routine.

Almost every day the wife reminds the author to maintain health protocols. Likewise, almost all the time the author ensures his wife and children to multiply home meals and minimize snacks outside.

By the time it confirmed the author positive for COVID-19, it was almost 3 (three) months that I had not gone home to Wonogiri. So it can be determined that the author’s wife and two children are not infected by the author.

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Readers can imagine the heavy burden on my mind and physiological burden when I want to tell my wife and two children that the PCR swab results confirmed the author was positive for COVID-19, even though it was only a day before the author told them that the author’s rapid test results were non-reactive.

And the writer also has to tell them the second news that is no less heavy, about Mak Adang in West Sumatra who just died in the hospital after being treated for a long time for an illness as a continuation of his treatment after being declared negative from COVID-19.

It is very difficult for the writer to convince the writer that the two stories will not affect each other’s mind and psychological burden on the author’s wife and two children.

News of the death of family members who were initially admitted to the hospital because they were confirmed positive for COVID-19, even though they died when they were negative and due to other illnesses, along with news that their husbands and fathers would be hospitalized because they had just been confirmed positive for COVID-19 came simultaneously .

The writer himself was humanly affected by these two stories. I don’t know how much influence it will have on the author, but the shadow of the end of the writer’s life in this world in the next few days because the positive impact of COVID-19 still exists.

The wife who is active in the Association of Pharmacists (PAFI) as the Secretary of Wonogiri Regency certainly understands better than the author that there is no proven effective and efficient drug to deal with COVID-19. Never mind medicine, there is no vaccine. Around the world.

The wife certainly understands better how the risk increases for positive patients with COVID-19 with cormobid status like the authors.

Especially when the author tested positive for COVID-19, it started with coughing and decreased appetite.

Of course, this knowledge, according to the painter’s estimate, will have an effect on and have an impact on the wife’s psychology and thoughts. Things that might make the mind run wild, think everywhere to the worst of things: die, have to be buried in Jakarta, and be buried using the COVID-19 protocol.

Everything is raging in the author’s mind, which the author believes will certainly become a burden on the wife’s mind as well after knowing the positive author of COVID-19 later. And to some extent will also be a burden on the thoughts of the two authors’ children.

How the wife alone will raise children. How is the inner burden of children growing up as orphans as the author’s empirical experience as an orphan. How the wife will handle our family’s debt forest.

Even at first glance, there was an implied desire not to tell them, they would later be told after the treatment. But another thought arose: yes, if you are healthy, if you leave the hospital, you will die?

Wouldn’t it be more dangerous to receive such information for the wife and children?

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The author delivers the two news via video call to the wife after making sure the children are not beside the wife. After making sure there are other known adults around the wife.

The choice of video call, not telephone or text message, rather the wife sees firsthand the condition of the author. See firsthand that the painter looks fine. So when the author delivers positive news about COVID-19 the painter goes to the light level, the heaviest is the moderate level. So that a lot minimizes the impact of the negative news on the information on the wife.

The author wants to discuss with the wife how to tell the children. It is not possible for children to be informed without first seeing the situation of the children. Children will only be notified when we think they are ready to receive this information.

The author ensures that there are people who despise around the wife when the writer tells the wife to expect the possibility of labor, such as the wife becoming weak or even fainting.

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Alhandulillah, the writer’s wife was so strong to receive the information on the positive COVID-19 writer, she didn’t sit down let alone fainting. Although it is clear how the changes in the facial water of the author’s wife when the author finished informing her that the author was positive for COVID-19.

The wife seems to have expected that she will receive information like this. The wife seems to try her best to be strong and strong. My wife tries to encourage the writer to be steadfast and enthusiastic to recover. And the author ….. with all his might try not to shed tears ….

I can’t deny it I could imagine the times when I met my wife before I went to Jakarta and I could imagine that this could be the last meeting with a woman I loved so much, a woman I had known since I was in the third semester of college, women who had assisting the author as a wife for the last 15 (fifteen) times in hard and happy times, a woman who has given two children which is so pleasing to the author.

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We decided the kids would be told. The wife will find the right time and way to tell the kids.

It is time for the children to learn life lessons by knowing information about their father, who was confirmed positive for COVID-19.

We give this information an excellent view for them in learning to understand the realities of life. Good for practicing their mental development.

Withholding this information and untoward happens about the results of the authors’ treatment, we think it will be bad for them in the long run.

The author remembers how when the author went to Jogja to go to Yogyakarta, the author’s father a month later fell ill, had a long illness and finally died 6 (six) months later. And the author was never told. The author believes that Father and Mother’s decision did not tell the author with good intentions and because of their love for the author. But until now, if the writer remembers that, sometimes I think if the writer knew that my father was sick, maybe he could be cured because of the painter’s prayer for his recovery.

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Finally, the writer was able to video call the children after being told by the wife that the children already knew the painter’s condition.

The first child (14 years old, girl) was trying to be strong. And trying to hide the restlessness of his heart. The sentence “I hope you get better soon ..” is still very clear that the intonation of his voice remains in the author’s mind, even today.

The second child (8 years old, boy) during video calls tried to laugh and cheerful and tried to make funny acts. She told her mother that she would cheer up my father. And that’s how he comforted his father.

After completing the video call, of course the writer can no longer stem the tears and munajad to Allah SWT, God who is so merciful and most merciful.

Thank you Allah for giving me a wife and children like them.

My wife, my daughter and my son. The three of them were the initial milestones for the author to strengthen his determination to try to recover and win the war against COVID-19 which has attacked this writer’s body. Bismillah.  (Continued)

(Hendra J Kede Deputy coordinator of the Indonesian Central Information Commission)

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